Dreams Cost · Song by song

Every song has a story behind the words.

The stories behind all ten songs are here with the actual handwritten lyric scans and typed lyrics.

Original handwriting · Track 02Original handwritten lyrics for Dreams Cost

The album

What Dreams Cost is about.

Dreams Cost follows the distance between wanting a different life and living with what it takes to pursue it.

Across ten songs, I wrote about ambition, family, love, disappointment, responsibility, and the pressure to keep moving. I was trying to build a life in music while learning what that choice asked of me in return.

I designed the sequence as one emotional arc. It begins in reflection and ends with a decision to give the gift a chance to live. Each song holds its own moment inside that larger story.

Dreams Cost

The lyrics.

Dreams Cost

The story behind every song

Tierre Maclin

01The turnLast Year

The story

I wrote Last Year about the point when the plan I had for myself stopped working. Law school, the grade in Criminal Law, the appeal, the job applications, and the position at Target were all part of what actually happened. Malibu and Los Angeles marked the distance between the year I expected and the year I lived.

I put it first because the change was not clean. I was disappointed, but I was also moving. I was working again, putting money into music, and beginning to see that the end of one plan had made room for another one.

“I think it’s a strong first song now... makes a statement.”

Chris Hayman, April 26, 2016
Original handwritten lyrics for Last Year, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Last Year, page 2Page 2 ↗

Chorus Last year, who knew I’d end up here Who knew I’d be writing songs in Malibu, sand in my feet Cruise life by myself Mind completely free Last year Who knew LA was gonna be my home Who knew May 8th was my last day of law school And my studying and staying up late wouldn’t make the grades I needed to stay

Verse I was in my second semester 1L year And the ex who I loved was always near But when I spoke she could not hear And never being reunited was my only fear So I gave all I got to my education Which turned out to be time wasted ’Cause while I was clerking for the LA DA I got a grade that destroyed my GPA I tried to appeal it but no luck found The place meant to build me up only tore me down And I’m applying for jobs with no calls back Thinking of packing my bags, I ain’t going back Then I got a call from Target They offered me my income target So I accept, now the cash is flowing in And here I am dropping bands on my music

Chorus

02The priceDreams Cost

The story

Dreams Cost became the title because I knew exactly what I was paying. The song names money, sleep, time with family, uncertainty, grief, work, and the pressure to keep moving. I did not want to wait for somebody else to decide I was worth the investment.

I was paying for the project myself and keeping my expenses low enough to keep investing in it. I do not think every sacrifice has to be celebrated. I wanted the song to be honest about what I was willing to carry at that time in my life.

“I filled out the chorus a bit more to make it feel big.”

Chris Hayman, March 21, 2016
Original handwritten lyrics for Dreams Cost, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Dreams Cost, page 2Page 2 ↗

Verse One Just another day in the hood The sun is shining, everything is all good Fresh cut, fresh Chucks, headed to brunch Plotting my new livelihood I just got off the phone with Jamie, told her what I’m planning on She said she knows I can do it, be patient and be strong If I can do all that, it won’t be long ’Til the whole world’s singing these songs This ain’t about competition I’m not simply seeking riches This goes back to childhood wishes I’m completing what I should’ve already finished I’m maxing cards and I’ve exhausted all my savings Funding myself, not sitting around waiting I realize these goals are mine for the taking In the city that dreams are made in

Chorus When you got top-notch talent and looks, too In LA there are thousands like you To be seen there’s nothing they won’t do You realize dreams cost When you don’t have the networks some are born into And some things you’re not willing to do Considering all things you hold to be true You realize dreams cost

Verse Two Fresh off a call with Chris, ready to go to work His initial quote had a brother hurt I’m still sleeping on my auntie’s couch in Inglewood But I had to cash up, I needed this to work And life ain’t stopping ’cause I’m working on these songs Sickle cell took my favorite cousin earlier in June Doctors gave Zay a day to live just hours ago I’m on the next flight when I finish this song This ain’t about competition I’m not simply seeking riches This goes back to childhood wishes I’m completing what I should’ve already finished I took loans with no hesitation for school Not that it’s something I wish to undo But had I put that same money into my vision Just imagine how I’d be living

Chorus

Bridge Dreams cost Time with friends and family Dreams cost Energy after a fifty-hour week Dreams cost Up again after a few hours of sleep Dreams cost Believe me Dreams cost Trips with dimes and certified freaks Dreams cost Late nights hitting the scene with beauty queens Dreams cost With no time and money, a dream’s just a dream Dreams cost Yeah

Chorus

03The noticeTwo Weeks

The story

Two Weeks came from the tension between having a paying job and knowing I wanted to give music a real chance. There was no guarantee that choosing the gift would work. I was asking the person beside me to believe in me without pretending belief would remove the risk.

The phrase two weeks comes from leaving a job, but the song is really about deciding how long I was going to keep waiting. I knew the safe moment might never come.

“I wanted to give the hook a triumphant feel hence the trumpets.”

Chris Hayman, March 31, 2016
Original handwritten lyrics for Two Weeks, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Two Weeks, page 2Page 2 ↗

Verse One Sit down, let me talk to you No, there’s nothing wrong, don’t look confused I’m going through some changes and need some changes So I’mma leave this job even though it pays well There’s something about my music gift And people requesting I write some new lyrics Then there’s so much I’m tired of hearing Like if I’m so talented, why am I here then? Now please have my back on this I can make it, I’m fully invested If not now, then when? I need your encouragement

Chorus I’m thinking two weeks Then I’m gonna go Go and live my dreams, you already know It’s been pressing on my mind all my life If I don’t try, I’ll regret it ’til I die Two weeks Then I’m gonna let the job have it Washing my hands of this retail madness I’ve tried every job I could try I don’t have the time with music on my mind

Verse Two So what’s good? Let me hear from you I should follow my dreams, right? You’ve said it, too Just go through that green light? A real pursuit And I can be on the Grammy stage in fancy suits Now, I know it’s not so easy But I’m ready for all the work, believe me If I’mma be stressed, it’s gon’ be for me And not for some suits in chair of the board seats Now please have my back on this While I turn this gift into a career If not now, then when? I need your encouragement

Chorus

Bridge I’ve been patient and I’ve tried Girl, you know I’ve tried To live a normal life But every time I make progress in my normal life I end up getting inspired I might go to the bar, chill with stars Next thing you know I’m on that stage singing la-la-la-la-la And after the harmonizing is done and it’s time to go home I don’t wanna go, so Now please have my back on this We can win, I’m fully invested If not now, then when? I need your encouragement

Chorus

04The pullTsunami

The story

Tsunami is one of the most intimate songs on the album. Distance, the airport, the drive, and the weather language all came from anticipation. I wanted it to feel playful and serious at the same time.

The song also reminds me that ambition was never the whole story. I still wanted closeness, pleasure, and somebody to come home to.

“I went with a sort of dark/mysterious feel for this track.”

Chris Hayman, April 8, 2016
Original handwritten lyrics for Tsunami, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Tsunami, page 2Page 2 ↗

Chorus Put that tsunami on me when I put this quake on you And ride through this wind, girl, ain’t no brakes on you Then call out my name, Tierre to the rescue Tsunami… tsunami

Verse One After this long week apart, I just want you Been playing all your songs, you’re all I listen to Thinking about the next time I’ll be on you As soon as you get home, I’ll put it on you But if I pick you up at LAX, we might not make it home And I hope we make it far enough to go and book a room Or we can end up on the beach looking up at the moon That’s the perfect place to put this quake on you

Chorus

Verse Two Now the weather man said there’d be rain in the forecast On top of your tsunami, I’m so glad you put it on me You know I’m always down for a round two And touching’s always on my mind around you Now go on, let that seat back, let this thing hold your leg I’m gonna hold your hand, I’m ’bout to dive in again Yeah… baby, I’m ’bout to dive in again

Chorus

Bridge Is it the way you touch me that’s got me thinking you should be here? Tell me how that sh… taste I swear, baby, you should be here Did I tell you I am down for you yet? Don’t be jealous, I ain’t running nowhere This is unconditional, I swear You are wanted… wanted

Lead Weather man said there’s rain in the forecast

05The regretSomebody Else

The story

Somebody Else is about realizing what I wanted after the timing had changed. I had kept the relationship unofficial because I would not commit. By the time I became clear, somebody else might have been living in the future I did not choose.

I did not write a clean ending because there was not one. I made the call and left the choice with the other person.

Original handwritten lyrics for Somebody Else, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Somebody Else, page 2Page 2 ↗

Verse One It’s so funny running into you I can’t lie, this was planned I was chilling with somebody else And heard you’d be here from a friend So I got dressed in what I thought was sure to impress Tried to look perfect, you deserve nothing less And thought about how I’d feel when I saw your smile Since I hadn’t seen it in a while It’s been a long time coming, I admit Back then you were just a secret You were always everything I need And only I didn’t realize it

Chorus Now you’re with somebody else Never imagined how I’d feel Knowing you’re kissing on somebody else Guess this love is real Even though you’re with somebody else Wish you’d take me back And just leave that somebody else This time I’ll have your back

Verse Two Now, I’m sure it must be crazy to hear Me say everything you imagined back then When I spent my days with someone else And our time was too limited I’m not tryna break up your happy family If that’s the case, stay and ignore me But if you think long when you hear this song I’d love to see your name come across my phone It’s been a long time coming, I admit Back then I just wouldn’t commit You were always everything I need And I was too selfish to notice And now…

Chorus

Bridge If you feel you’re that somebody, body Just be real with yourself Did we have all these experiences? Or could I be talking about someone else? If you feel you’re that somebody, body Just give me a call Girl, I’m gon’ be up waiting, waiting Just to take your call

Spoken Word I know you know who I’m talking about We used to be up late nights, all the time I wake up, wake you up We’re late to class, late to work You’re late to church Nice home-cooked meals But it was never official And what I didn’t give you before I am now ready to give you

06The promiseCount On Me

The story

Count On Me begins with meeting at a conference and grows into a promise. The song remembers support through law school, job applications, and the changes I was going through. I wanted to return that support with steadiness, shared plans, and the possibility of a family.

I was still ambitious, but I did not want my ambition to make another person’s goals smaller. I could not promise the future would be easy. I could promise that we would not have to face it alone.

Original handwritten lyrics for Count On Me, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Count On Me, page 2Page 2 ↗

Verse One It’s so funny how we met last year at that conference Like it was a part of someone’s plan Your curls, your smile, your sophistication Everything about you was kinda intimidating Didn’t know I had what it took to approach And I knew that you wouldn’t be single Wherever you were from, there must be some man at home Who’d make getting to know you impossible But I couldn’t have been more wrong It’s like I’ve known you my whole life long

Chorus I don’t want that to change Say you’re here to stay Focus on your law thing I’m just gonna sang And your so will be ours We gon’ start a family If you need anything You can count on me

Verse Two It’s so funny how I couldn’t say this in person I had to put it in a song But I know it’s been a whole year and you’ve been patient I just don’t know how long you’ll hold out After putting your best forward, supporting me through my changes From failing out of law school to tweaking résumés on applications I know when I found you, I found a good thing You’ve been everything to me, now take the same from me

Chorus

Bridge I hope we grow into even better friends I hope that I’m the one you call on to vent I hope you’re always proud you chose me as your man Count on me, you know you can I hope we grow together through everything in life I hope we find out what forever feels like I guess I’m saying I hope one day you’ll be my wife Come give counting on me a try

Chorus

07The inheritanceLetter to the Rents

The story

Letter to the Rents speaks directly to both of my parents. I wrote about incarceration, separation, becoming parents young, public judgment, forgiveness, safety, and love. My father’s sentence did not erase his presence. My mother’s planning and belief helped me imagine more for myself.

I did not want to clean up the family story. I wanted to say thank you with the hard parts still in it. The song is about what my parents survived, what they taught me, and what I wanted to carry forward without repeating everything they went through.

“I wanted to try and soften/lighten it up a little while still keeping it edgy.”

Chris Hayman, April 20, 2016
Original handwritten lyrics for Letter to the Rents, page 1Page 1 ↗Original handwritten lyrics for Letter to the Rents, page 2Page 2 ↗

Verse One Dear Dad, These letters are all too familiar I mean, they should be after fourteen years in there I’m just glad you’ve stayed on your best behavior Aside from the day old boy tested your gangster The relationship we’ve got is worthy of recognition Somehow you’ve been a present father while in prison You have my permission to look past old bad decisions Black King, you’ve been forgiven When you was in the streets, I learned a lot (yes, I did) Y’all were just sixteen, but we beat all the statistics Everybody had something to say But we made it anyway

Chorus This is my letter to the ’rents Forty-five-year sentences couldn’t rip us from our purposes Even when they raised the rents and handed out evictions We still stood by our convictions I say to my parents Thank you for raising me upright And making sure I don’t repeat mistakes made in your life Dad, even though you never made my mom your wife You taught me how much true love means in life

Verse Two Dear Mom, I can say any number of things in recognition of all that you’ve done for me You were my first cheerleader, you made me understand I could do anything if I write and follow a plan Thank you for making sure I grew up safe In such a way it was okay to wear a smile on my face There’s no way you can ever be replaced Black Queen, you’re appreciated When you was in the streets, I learned a lot (yes, I did) Y’all were just sixteen, but we beat all the statistics Everybody had something to say But we made it anyway

Chorus

Bridge When y’all was in the streets, I learned a lot (yes, I did) Y’all were just sixteen, but we beat all the statistics Everybody had something to say But we made it anyway

08The releaseNo More Apologies

The story

No More Apologies came after I had looked at what I had done and what I needed to change. I was not denying mistakes or claiming I was perfect. I was saying that accountability could not become an endless performance of shame.

The spoken ending says what I needed to hear too. Remember where you came from, keep looking forward, and let changed behavior mean more than repeating another apology.

Original handwritten lyrics for No More Apologies, page 1Page 1 ↗

Chorus No more apologies No more apologies from me I’ve forgiven myself for the past If you want to judge, you can But no more apologies I’m done saying sorry No, I’m not proud of everything I’ve done If you want to leave, you can

Verse Turns out I’m not exactly perfect like you thought I was And just like you, I’m capable of doing wrong As great as I can be, I’ve done some things I know are low I try my best to right my wrongs I never display hate and I love really strong I give all I’ve got to folks I don’t even know The good I do always outweigh the wrong I’m leaving the past in this song

Chorus

Spoken Word I’ve been saying sorry forever That word never makes things better So I guess all I can do is move on Forgive myself and try to remain strong If you’ve experienced something similar to this Just be confident in yourself, and never forget Where you came from, but keep an eye on where you’re going If nobody else can see, I guess you just have to show them

09The unknownWhat’s Next

The story

What’s Next puts the questions I was carrying into one song. I was not sleeping enough. I was balancing work and the business. I wanted partnership. I also knew the album could find an audience or go nowhere.

The song became my first official music video. That gave the private work another life and made me ask people to see the record, not only hear it.

“It’s definitely an original mix of production I’ve never heard before.”

Chris Hayman, June 21, 2016

Chorus I don’t know what’s next, but I hope you’re with it I put everything I got in it Girl, I’m ’bout to get it I swear I’m going all on Girl, I hope you’re with it And you’re coming with me Girl, I hope you’re with it

Verse One I don’t know what’s next, but I’m really giving two weeks Since I started making Dreams Cost, I ain’t had no sleep Balancing work and my business ain’t working, baby I’d do us better going ahead and giving everything Seriously, if there’s anything you need from me Just let me know, I got you, you can count on me This’ll be a long road, but the destination Is worth more than the long road’s frustrations So let me know if you’re with it I just gotta know, is you with it? Anything you want, you can get it Just let me know if you’re with it

Chorus

Verse Two I don’t know what’s next, but I’m glad you’re down for the cause Consistent with the past, you’ve been down for it all Always asking how you can help me win When the accolades come I won’t forget I hope fame doesn’t bring jealousy From either side, you or me That we remember good music and money brings attention Every good-looking face ain’t worth our attention We can go the distance like our parents didn’t Since I know you’re with it, since I know you’re with it I said we can go the distance like our parents didn’t ’Cause I know you’re with it, ’cause I know you’re with it

Chorus

Bridge I don’t know what’s next I hope you really see my vision Trust my fortitude and support my decisions I’ve been wanting this for a while I appreciate your support up to now But I don’t know what’s next This can tank or it can blow Even if I consistently write hit songs I don’t know what’s next, but I hope you’re really with it Since fifteen I’ve only wanted you with me So come with me

Chorus

10The decisionI Remember

The story

I Remember looks back at poverty, embarrassment, isolation, and the pressure to choose a practical life over a creative one. I did not want success to erase those memories. The person with the gift was already there, even when my circumstances were small.

I closed the album by making a decision. I have a gift, and I am going to give it a chance to live. After writing about cost, support, family, regret, and uncertainty, that was the last thing I wanted to say.

Spoken Word I remember being broke and embarrassed I was broke Thought I was stuck in a cold and lonely world without hope Just poor, and embarrassed I was poor Wanted to change my clothes but I didn’t have any more Just stuck, and embarrassed I was stuck Plotting my way forward but still down on my luck Alone, and embarrassed to be alone But keep everyone else smiling so they wouldn’t have to know How I felt… yeah, yeah, yeah

Verse One I remember being all I am now Still worried I wouldn’t measure up to anyone in the crowd Nervous the words I spoke would bring a lot of people down ’Cause no one wants to hear about a guy living life’s normal trials They want the money, drugs, and fame But then I found out that there are so many like me With the vision to surpass poverty So just listen Get on this road with me Plot your progress, pack up, and proceed

Chorus To whom much is given, much is tested Be faithful with the least and you’ll get the rest, kid The last shall be first and the first last Compete with your success, that’s how champs last Put your time, energy, and money into what you want Mind your own, no matter who tries to size you up Death ain’t nothing but a heartbeat and it’s coming The dash matters, not your sunrise or your sunset

Verse Two I remember being all I am now, just wanting to sing my songs Then putting the idea down ’cause that’s not how life in the O goes You just go to college, and once you have that degree Tweak your résumé, work for a local company ’Cause creativity just can’t possibly Be as rewarding as working for UP, but not for me I’ve got this gift, and I’m gonna give it a chance to live Everyone won’t understand it But I’m not using my life to make you rich while I just exist

Chorus

Bridge I remember broke and so embarrassed I was broke And poor, so embarrassed I was poor Just stuck, embarrassed I was stuck Alone, embarrassed to be alone But I’ve got this gift, and I’m gonna give it a chance to live Everyone won’t understand it But I’m not using my life to make you rich while I just exist

Dreams Cost

Written and performed by Tierre Maclin.
Produced, mixed and mastered by Chris Hayman.

“I’ve got this gift, and I’m gonna give it a chance to live.”

I Remember
The Dreams Cost story